This is only the beginning

 

September 4, 2023, 5:34 AM 

Day 6 of on-and-off rains here in Manila. Blame it on Goring, Hanna, and the monsoon rains and winds, I’m literally feeling under the weather. 

I’ve been planning to write just about anything since last week, but lethargy (and I guess no motivation/inspiration) kept me from doing so. Instead, I got myself busy with finishing Suleika Jaouad’s “Between Two Kingdoms”, uploading fun Instagram reels on my recent vacation and August activities, and trying to organize my week. In short, just trying to stay sane amidst this weather. I felt bad that all my schedules got canceled, but what one can do? 

Because I got to stay in and just in my own company, I also got to do a lot of thinking - up to the point of overthinking.  

Jaouad’s book was so cathartic for me, that I bawled my eyes out in between pages. She wrote the words I wanted to write and had the same feelings as me, especially during my post-surgery. That feeling of “I will never have my past life back” just hit differently for me. And yes, it’s a hard truth that I must lovingly accept. As I write this part, I can feel my tears welling up. Oh well, let me feel this and move on… 

“Moving forward”, according to Suleika, is more appropriate. I guess so. I have to move forward. I guess I also have to be kinder to myself and give myself a pat on the back for a successful recovery. The journey isn’t an easy one, but I’m thankful that I am thriving in it. 

It’s been long overdue, but I plan to write daily journals. I may post it on my personal blog - with no readers so far. My writing journey has again begun, and I hope to keep at it.

Back at it...

Trying to get into journaling again, and share my thoughts through this blog. This was my Facebook post last March 20, 11 days after my doctor told me of my final diagnosis after the thyroidectomy and neck dissection.

I hope to start with this and document my journey with you. I will also try to compile all past posts pertaining to my healing and recovery.

So here goes...

FB post, March 20

I guess this is just to keep everyone informed (mura ni’g official press statement to set the record straight. No sugarcoating, just facts)

Biopsy results from the March 3 surgery were positive for papillary thyroid carcinoma (yes, the big C, i.e. thyroid cancer). Twenty-four out of 36 nodes removed from the 6-hour surgery came out positive. The surgeon attested that it was one of the most challenging surgeries he had to perform. I’m just thankful that the Lord sent a team of experts for my surgery. Always grateful for the family and friends who sent their help (the final surgery bill came at P496K!) and who prayed (and continue praying) for me. The Lord really showed His faithfulness as I accepted the result with peace in my heart (though of course, there was that drama moment with Doc when I asked “Makaka survive ba ko, Doc?”.) He assured me of a good prognosis. A few tears were shed, and it was that dilemma of how to tell everyone. Thanks to those who have reached out already, and sorry to those who didn’t understand the Histopath report sent (sorry naman po, I didn’t realize puro lang numbers ang 2-page report).

My journey to healing is just starting. I am now prepping my body (and finances/resources) for the upcoming Radioactive Iodine Therapy in April. As the Beatles song goes “I get by with a little help from my friends” (and family, of course), I’d like to appeal for your prayers and a little financial help if you have extra to share.

Do drop me a line or two, I have a bit of free time to connect with you. Thank you for taking on this journey with me. I give back all glory and thanksgiving to our Lord God, my Provider and Healer.

Stay Gold

 we have to stay gold 

in a world that's sometimes cold; 

as we grow old,

we need lessons to be bold

we have to stay brave 

in a world where everyone's attention we crave; 

as we go from cradle to grave 

we need to have experiences to rave 

we have to stay valued at par 

in a world that's at war; 

as we go to places near and far 

we need more than a car 

to battle each scar. 

we have to stay on our feet 

in a world that doesn't accept defeat;  

as we get to know people we meet 

we need to dance to our own beat 

and once in a while, get ourselves a treat. 

we have to stay hush-hush 

in a world that's always in a rush. 

as we have dreams to crush 

we definitely need love: one reason to blush

 

APEC awardee

 

Employee of the Year for 2021. 

All the hard work paid off. And yes, this is a long overdue post, but I wanted to post this for posterity. It's not every day - or even every year - that someone can get to have this. 

Kudos to Team C. Raymundo - all the efforts were not in vain. The daily struggles and wins are indeed achieved with our shared values, teamwork, and willingness to go the extra mile. 

It just feels good to look back at this achievement, and to be continually inspired by all the work done for our stakeholders: our parents, partners, and of course our students. I'd like to see myself contributing to our students to be #bettereachday. 

Vax Thoughts

 

Vaccination day last August 6. 

I was in high spirits before going to the vaccination site after getting the Employee of the Year award in our GA. Maybe that's the reason why the vaccine didn't have any adverse side effects on me. It just took me almost 2 hours (including travel time to and from Estancia Mall) to be done with this "ordeal". I  prepared for this day, knowing full well that I'm quite vulnerable. 

Thank God, I listened to my body and took a leave the day before. I just felt numbness in my right vaccinated arm, grogginess, and a slight headache. Thankfully, no high fever as expected. I was back on my feet the next day, which I just assigned as a do-nothing day. 

Lesson: It pays to prepare, and expect for the worst 

Friends?

 Can I even be friends with you? 

After being each other's boo? 

Can I even stop myself from saying

That for you, I am still falling? 

Can we just be even friendly?

After years of being lovey-dovey? 

Can we even stop ourselves from asking 

If we've even stopped loving?

Time will tell, time will heal 

For now, let me just feel

How to be with you again 

For each moment is a perfect ten. 

Blue

Today, I'm feeling blue

As if the world is without hue.

What am I going to do?

Maybe I just miss...you!

You - my old self from months past

Of those times flying so fast

I did have a blast,

Wishing those memories would last.

The past days have been a struggle

My mind sometimes starts to boggle.

When will this end?

Soon, I hope to be on the mend.

I know I'm not alone in this

Yes, life can be a crisis

I hope the blues will cease

As if it's a cure to a disease.

For now, let me just do stay in a corner

Put things on the back burner.

I know I can be happier

But for now, let me just put this barrier.